Harmony Within a Blog
is my recovery repository
I share my thoughts and experience regarding the disease of addiction and how I’m staying clean.
There’s this image in my mind that each of us has a unique frequency or vibe that allows us to be our best selves. Too much or little of anything will throw off anyone’s vibe.
In recovery from addiction of any kind, we each get to:
(1) find our unique frequency,
(2) learn how to orchestrate or lives to support the internal harmony that married our frequency our superpower
(3) use all of what we learn to shortcircuit our obsessive, compulsive, and unhealthy self centered behaviors
If I’m lucky, I’d like to inspire you.
About the Blog
This blog has been incubating for two years in the back of my mind. It was originally planned in June 2023. I was at my wits end, deep in my addiction. I wanted out. I thought I could recover by myself and wanted to document it. Yeah …That didn’t happen!
I came into recovery in the form of IOP (intensive outpatient) six months later, court ordered, after a short stint in the psych ward. I found a 12 Step program that I adore a month later. My recovery has not been perfect, but it has been profound.
Some issues that I came to recovery with are: perfectionism, people pleasing, undisciplined, self centered, no self worth, and lacking faith of any kind, including in myself. It literally took ALL of my friends’ encouragement to go forward with this blog.
You’re welcome to use and adapt anything you find here, I just humbly ask you credit the source or link back to where you found it.
Note: Sometimes you’ll see things I wrote while still in my addiction. I was going to delete it all, but it seemed like such a waste. So, I will always clearly call out this comment, like below 👇🏻
My Intro in 2023 (Still Using)
Some blurbs about me to offer a broader perspective of what I’m about:
I am a recovering people pleaser, addict, drop-out, burnt out single mom to my only child who has with severe autism.
I have PTSD, C-PTSD, ADD, depression, and dissociative disorder along with this unyielding, undeniable drive to never give up and always shine, which is kind of exhausting (aka perfectionist).
I’m self aware to a fault and absorbed in myself and my experiences to the point of histrionic. I’m also extremely hard on myself… I like to think one cancels out the other… wishful thinking!
My best friends have learned not to take this personally, as I legitimately have so much on my plate it’s hard to remember other lives exist. They also knew me before I became a mom, back when I was slightly more sane, a little bit happier, and a lot more chill.
- Journaling for Better Life Perspective
In one of the readings in my 12 Step group, we read “Just for today, I will get a better perspective on my life.” At some meetings, you’ll hear some… Read more: Journaling for Better Life Perspective - More Than Just Drugs
My addiction is best described by my IOP (intensive outpatient) instructor: Maladaptive coping skills learned in our childhood In other words, my addiction stems from ways I learned to cope… Read more: More Than Just Drugs - Feeling Our Feelings
When I got clean, this phrase was so confusing! I feel things all the time. Isn’t that the same thing? I’ve learned that noticing a feeling and allowing myself to… Read more: Feeling Our Feelings - Focus
A friend of mine has a million one-liners that I love. This one practically defines my life lately. How many times have you noticed your life was going well, only… Read more: Focus - Kintsugi
Kintsugi, also known as kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the cracks with lacquer mixed with gold, silver, or platinum. It is a technique that… Read more: Kintsugi - A Day in My Shoes
Fourteen months into recovery and my life is still feels chaotic. I’d been ignoring many things in my addiction; it’s partly why I used. Facing life was absolutely too horrific… Read more: A Day in My Shoes
Harmony Within: A Blog 